I really do find some quick responses sooo amusing that I'd be pasting some of my favorites here. Pray they make your day! Enjoy!


Losing all your friendsMan comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.He shoots his friend and kills him.Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."
Brother wantedA small boy wrote to Santa Claus,"send me a brother"....Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....
Meaning of WIFEHusband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!"Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"
Importance of a periodTeacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away."
Confident vs. confidentialA young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there is also my son, that's confidential!"
Anger management?Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"Wife: "I clean the toilet."Husband: "How does that help?"Wife: "I use your toothbrush."